What amuses you?

It doesn’t take much to make me laugh.

Heard on the radio yesterday – I won’t be able to repeat this exactly but I will try to approximate it.

“Dear Agony Aunt,

Our sex life has always been satisfactory but my husband has started to behave strangely and he is becoming too adventurous for me. He has even taken to wanting sex outdoors.


Dear Listener,

Your husband is probably in need of some reassurance. Tell him that you love him and try to find some common ground. “


Common ground!!! hee hee hee – I told you I was easily amused.

Productive day

I have been studying all day since 9 o’clock this morning and I am trying to force myself to stop. I have only had two or three short breaks and even then I had the books with me at all times so they weren’t really breaks at all. (I spilt some dinner on one of the books.) This may seem like madness but my life style and irregular working hours do not permit me to schedule regular study time so I have to make the best of days like this. I started to feel whacked by 4 pm but I got over it.

I made a quick trip earlier in the day to St Anne’s to get a new toner cartridge for the laser printer but I got a lift in and studied whilst I was in the car. I tell yer, I’ve barely wasted a single minute. Got to go – Just thought of something else I want to look at.

The postman called with a parcel from Amazon.co.uk this morning - A lovely new book. I will have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then curl up in bed with the book. Don’t ask what it is. It’s a reference book and it is only more of what I have been doing all day.

I will have to catch up on some boring work stuff tomorrow. It’s the end of the month so I have some wage claims to fill in. Gosh! I hate that job. I sometimes feel I would rather forfeit the money then fill out the flipping the claim forms. Every little detail has to be repeated on numerous forms and they all have to be in my own handwriting, which becomes barely legible. It is so repetitive and boring that by the time I am on the fifth or sixth form I start to get my own name wrong. If I make a mistake, I can’t cross it out – I have to throw the form away and start again. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Tons of other paper work has to go in with the forms. Sigh.

USB Massager

This is one gadget I haven't got.


I want one of those for Christmas.

Also available - A USB light up Christmas tree and snowman.

Ding dong merrily on high

Ding dong merrily on high,
In heav'n the bells are ringing:
Ding dong! verily the sky

Sod off! again to Christmas.

This morning I received 5 Christmas catalogues. I didn't request a single one of them. They are all trying to get my money and I am being encouraged to spend more than I have.

My diary is full each and every day and almost every minute right up until the 23rd of December, which is surprisingly one day earlier than usual. Christmas! I ask you.

I wouldn't mind if Christmas really was the time to show goodwill towards all men but more often than not it is just a very commercialised affair, full of nothing but stress or sadness for some. I don't know what my son is going to make of the fact that I have arranged for him to help out in a soup kitchen this year. I want him to see how the other half live before he gets any of his presents.

I don't hate Christmas but I do think it needs to be put in perspective and got under some kind of control. Whilst some of us get fat, the other half are starving. If you are a Christian, then I suppose it means something to you.

This is what I would look like

......... if I was a brick.







The Mini-Mizer










Yes, I know it is childish but I like Lego. I'm gonna get me some fishnets.

One of these days........

I will succeed in my intention of staying still in a meeting room full of people and saying absolutely nothing. That's it! - Nothing at all. Not even when I hear a general view and consensus developing which I feel is so wrong, out of touch and against all my own feelings, thoughts and principles. Nothing, Nowt.

When that day arrives they will probably be playing organ music and drawing a curtain.

Dodge the Dot

Thank you, Nick Park

No-one could adequately describe or give justice to the pure magic of his animations. The Curse of the Were-Rabbit is right up there with all the rest. Hell, I enjoyed it!

On a different subject, there is going to be some excitement here in blogland. Some of my male friends are off to Nepal in a few weeks time. They are going to climb Everest up to Base Camp 1. (19,000 feet)

I have said that I will type up their blog, post a few pictures and prepare a presentation for them. Watch this space for further details.

Free Online Word Processor

Online Word Processor and Collaboration Software.

Prepare a document online and, if you want, allow others to share and edit it. You can also publish the document or post direct to your own blog. This post has been prepared in the Processor and posted directly to Blogger, complete with the image.

What I Need

Borrowed from Phil.... http://my-shrinkage.blogspot.com/

INSTRUCTIONS: Ok, go to Google. Type in "(your name) needs" Remember to use the quotes. And remember to replace (your name) with your actual name. First name only. Look at the 5 websites that say you need something. (Use different websites) What are the 5 things you need?



I almost called the character "amorous," but Kath's needs are so deep-seated and gnarled that her sexual needs are only the tip of the psychological iceberg ...

Ahem! I think I’ll stop there and try “Kat needs”



Kat needs to be Kat and be in a bad mood ...


Kat needs money to feed her heinous addiction to Gummy Worms.


Kat needs a date to bring to the wedding…


kat needs a looong vacation.

The last post was a load of crap. Nothing offers security and security is not what I am looking for.

Decisions, decisions

I have just found an email in my inbox offering me what appears to be a permanent job. There is no doubt that it is genuine but I am hoping it isn’t or doesn’t need to be a full time post.  I had just got used to the fact that I was sort of freelance. Nobody in their right mind would turn this job down without a lot of thought because it offers security and many other benefits. My problem arises from the fact that I have a number of part time contracts, which I don’t want to give up. Most have been renewed time after time so I was sort of looking at them as semi -permanent anyway – As far as anything can be permanent or semi-permanent, that is.  I will need to find out a lot more about the job offer before I can make any decisions but what a quandary. Here I am in the position of having to re-think my life all over again. I don’t understand how the position has come about. As far as I know, no one has left the place and the job isn’t advertised. It is especially awkward because I have a number of other things in the pipeline. Why does everything come as once? I know I should be grateful but life decisions are very difficult and no sooner have I made one when something else crops up.

Body Language at its Best

Traveling to work this afternoon made me realize just how much I make use of body language.

I’ll set the scene. I work in a number of different places and three of them are on exactly the same route until the last 2 miles when the wrong turning at a set of traffic lights leads to complete disaster. It is hard to get it right, because the car seems to have a mind of its own and it doesn’t always get in the correct lane on the right day. Today was one of those days. I found myself at the traffic lights in the right hand lane instead of the left. What could I do?

This:

I waved my arms and hands around until I got the attention of the man on my left. I then deliberately put on a very sad face, pointed to the left exit and pretended to cry. He laughed, smiled and then winked. When the traffic lights changed, he held back and let me into the left hand lane. I gave him a big cheery smile and a wave.

Come to think of it, I often exaggerate facial expressions in order to get my own way. I suppose that’s why I’ve got all these lines on my face – I deserve them! I might have to consider keeping a very straight face, with big wide eyes just so I can keep the problem from getting any worse.

The very stunning Chiquita

Pattern






A short while ago, I posted a link to a knitting pattern. Unfortunately I never got round to knitting the thing myself. Chiquita on the other hand has been fairly quick off the mark and has posted a picture of herself wearing the hat/wig.

Here she is:








What a sport! Well done, Chiquita! It will keep your ears warm. :-)

I will get myself off to the wool shop.

Body Language.

I have no doubt that body language is important. In the wrong hands or head however, I think that a little studied knowledge of it is dangerous. A guy I once worked with went on a half day course in body language. For 3 whole weeks he made our lives, in the office, sheer hell. We couldn't move without him interpreting it as something to do with the way we felt toward him. He seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that we were reacting to other people and to other influences. On being very interested in something he was talking about and looking at, I leaned forward to get a better view. I was immediately and loudly accused of being aggressive. According to him, leaning forward was always an aggressive action.

I am doing a course at the moment and we are supposed to be studying eye movement and watching people. Looking to the right, left or up or down have very different meanings apparently. The fact that someone may be using their eyes to actually see something, seems of little importance. This is annoying me for the simple reason that if I spend all my time staring into someones eyes I will actually make them feel very uncomfortable and nervous. Apart from which, I can't see ( forgive the pun ) how I will be able to concentrate on what I or they are saying or expressing in other ways. Body language is something I believe we interpret quite naturally and if I make it unnatural and stare at people all the time, I will deny them the natural feedback from my own body / eye language.

Not everyone uses their eyes in the same way and I wonder if right and left handed people use them differently. My son is an intelligent high functioning autistic and he certainly doesn't use eye contact in the same way. He had some very real problems with a teacher and in the end I took him to a child psychiatrist who went into the school and told them all to stop depending on eye contact and movement. Not looking doesn't necessarily mean that you are not listening or taking it all in. Luke misses nothing.

I refuse to stare at people too much. Cats do that - Not Kats. Some people are becoming very scary starry eyed people who would frighten the hell out of anyone.
You can look at me but don't stare directly into my eyes for too long, folks - It is uncomfortable and I will be off.

PS. I've just found a fabulous cartoon on body language but it is too rude to post. :-)))) hee hee

Back soon - Wallace and Gromit

Whilst making a quick stop at the supermarket, this morning, I spotted some tea bags with a free Gromit mug and couldn't resist buying them. The daft thing is, I don't drink tea. Always handy to have some tea in though, don't you think?

The new film 'Curse of the Were-Rabbit' will be out soon. Can't wait. The UK release date is the 14th October. I wonder when the DVD / video will be released. It will be one of those films you have just got to own.

Website

Animator Nick Park is the genius behind the film. This is a frame by frame work, using plasticine figures - Not computer animation. I think I read somewhere that it took 6 years to make.

Sound bite

Nick was born in Preston, Lancashire, which is only a few miles from my own birth place.







"How about a nice cup of tea then, Gromit."

Hiking can be dangerous

There's no escaping from the dangers.












Walk 22: Knott End-on-Sea and Pressall.
Distance: 5.5 miles
Weather: Some showers but mostly fine.





New comfy boots.
No toenails or skin lost on this walk.





Looking across the estuary to Fleetwood. The sea and rivers in this part of the country are always grey. The book refers to it as a silvery estuary. I call it grey but some of you, I suppose, will call it 'gray'.









Not many cows this week but we had to walk through a field of wild geese and they were watching us. In fact they looked like they were lining up to attack us. Sorry, but I couldn't hang around long enough to get good photos. My sister was frightened of the geese.









The next field was no better.











I wasn't for sharing a field with this animal but my sister told me not to be so soft.
















We ended up in the pub of course.

WildCam Africa

Wildcam






Many thanks to EchoMouse for this link. The Wildcam provided by National Geographic Magazine enables you to watch over a pond in Botswana. This is the best webcam I've come across and it is great to see the wildlife gather. Wonderful!

Hangover.............

Last night I attended our local cricket clubs 175th anniversary dinner. I am not sure how I came to be placed on a V.I.P table along with the president of the league etc. but there was free wine on our table and plenty of it.